Brown ground beef in its own fat (or use a little oil) along with the garlic. When it's gone gray, add rice wine, fish sauce, and scallions. Cook a minute, then add hoisin, bean paste, and cornstarch mixed with water. Cook a minute or two until cornstarch has thickened and set aside.

Meanwhile, cook and drain the noodles as you would any other noodles.

Mound the noodles on a platter and arrange the bean sprouts over the top. Pour the hot (or warm, at least) meat sauce over and strew with scallions. Serve hot or cool.